Weight

Okay, I have come to a weird conclusion. I have weighed myself almost every day for about three weeks now. The wild swings in my weight are crazy. There's been as much as a 3-pound swing. That strikes me as crazy. I am large. I've got about 90 pounds or so to lose. I decided to weigh myself daily to see how much difference there can be on a daily basis. For about the last two weeks, I've been eating very wisely. I've discovered that if I eat a smaller dinner, that not only do I sleep better, I also seem to have more energy the following day.

Some of you may think that I am crazy. Weight is very simple. Just expend more than you take in. I've heard all about this. My grandmother always talked (read: nagged) me about my weight. She said that she always weighed within 5 pounds of 130. She said, "If I see the scale creeping up, I just cut back until I am back down to around 130." I totally understand this idea. It makes complete sense. But for some reason, I have not been able to implement it. I don't think I'll ever be down around the 130 area, because I'm just more comfortable a little heavier. I was in that range when I was in college. I had the unitard with the little "underwear" that you wore over it. It was hard core. Of course this was when "Home Sweet Home" was number one on the MTV countdown forever, needless to say that was YEARS ago.

Can I just say that if you have a few pounds to lose, take care of it NOW? It was so easy to lose weight when I was young. Your metabolism is your friend. Now, at age 40, it's quite a bit more difficult to shed the pounds.

I am on board with a newish eating plan including the awesome QUINOA, and more veggies. I am training for 5Ks since that season is coming up. I know that if I keep this up, I'll lose some weight, but I'm really good at starting these things, not so good at keeping them up. I'm keeping a journal of things that are good about this way of eating to help me realize how important it is to have good nutrition.

SIDEBAR: Last night I had a tasty bowl of quinoa (cooked in beef broth), black beans (rinsed and heated in beef broth), and two fresh small tomatoes diced up and thrown in. It was SO good. I just added a little cayenne pepper (don't really care for black pepper), onion powder, and salt. The tomatoes really brightened it up.

Well, to keep with the plan, I must go to the gym. I'm enjoying my last week of freedom until school is in. Grrrr.

(Edit at 11:20 a.m. -- I am losing my mind. I have told this stupid post every way that I know how that I'd like it all to appear in the Georgia font. Some paragraphs have acquiesced, others not so much. Sorry for the font change right in the middle. Boo!)

StrUGHgle!

How ironic is this?!? The very week I thought I'd have nothing to worry or think about, I am really struggling with a lot of things. I have been grieved by my many issues. My house is cluttered, my weight is up, and I am feeling generally CRAPO about myself. Today at lunch, Hippy Chick confronted me on how I've let my diet GOOOOO! We ate a very nice lunch at a good spot in town. (Incidentally, it was a nice tarragon-tomato soup, a whole-wheat wrapped turkey sandwich with romaine, tomato, onion, and cranberry relish. There was a little mayonnaise, but not excessively much. I had the fruit with it. Yum. Good and good for me!) I really want to get it all together, but it's so hard for me to get all areas of my life together. I've talked about this before. I'm not sure why I feel like this.

Hippy suggested I do a food diary. The thought of this horrifies me. My immediate reaction was that I can't do anything with regularity. Do I just refuse to have responsible adult behavior? Why do I feel the need to refrain from taking responsibility? I'm going to work on this. Maybe, if I don't take responsibility, then I'm not to blame for my overweightedness/fatness. But it really doesn't matter. I am fat and if I want to live healthfully, I've got to do something about it NOW. My plans for the New Year didn't materialize as I had hoped. How about the wording of that last sentence? It's as if I expected the Resolution Fairy to grant my wish. Actually that sentence should be something more like, "I didn't follow through on my New Year's resolutions. I didn't take the actions necessary to bring them to fruition."

Now, the next step is: How can I do what I need to do?

What do I need to do?

1) Eat good food.

2) Exercise with regularity.

3) Have some type of accountability with both food and exercise choices.

Well, I'm going to go mull my epiphany over. Thanks, Hippy!