StrUGHgle!

How ironic is this?!? The very week I thought I'd have nothing to worry or think about, I am really struggling with a lot of things. I have been grieved by my many issues. My house is cluttered, my weight is up, and I am feeling generally CRAPO about myself. Today at lunch, Hippy Chick confronted me on how I've let my diet GOOOOO! We ate a very nice lunch at a good spot in town. (Incidentally, it was a nice tarragon-tomato soup, a whole-wheat wrapped turkey sandwich with romaine, tomato, onion, and cranberry relish. There was a little mayonnaise, but not excessively much. I had the fruit with it. Yum. Good and good for me!) I really want to get it all together, but it's so hard for me to get all areas of my life together. I've talked about this before. I'm not sure why I feel like this.

Hippy suggested I do a food diary. The thought of this horrifies me. My immediate reaction was that I can't do anything with regularity. Do I just refuse to have responsible adult behavior? Why do I feel the need to refrain from taking responsibility? I'm going to work on this. Maybe, if I don't take responsibility, then I'm not to blame for my overweightedness/fatness. But it really doesn't matter. I am fat and if I want to live healthfully, I've got to do something about it NOW. My plans for the New Year didn't materialize as I had hoped. How about the wording of that last sentence? It's as if I expected the Resolution Fairy to grant my wish. Actually that sentence should be something more like, "I didn't follow through on my New Year's resolutions. I didn't take the actions necessary to bring them to fruition."

Now, the next step is: How can I do what I need to do?

What do I need to do?

1) Eat good food.

2) Exercise with regularity.

3) Have some type of accountability with both food and exercise choices.

Well, I'm going to go mull my epiphany over. Thanks, Hippy!